Friday funnies from The Forum

MLive.com: Muskegon Town Talk Forum: "8455.4. 17
Top Country & Western Songs
by brewmic, 3/24/06 10:55 ET
Re: FRYDAY Funny! by gaelicgrrrrl, 3/24/06
17. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine
16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed Your A$$ Out All Day Long
15. If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You
14. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me
13. How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?
12. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well
11. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Getting Better
10. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dogfight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win
9. I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonight
8. I'm So Miserable Without You It's Like You're Still Here
7. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now
6. My wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him
5. She Got The Ring and I Got The Finger
4. You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
3. Her Teeth Was Stained But Her Heart Was Pure
2. She's Looking Better After Every Beer
And the Number One song is . .
1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With an Ugly Woman, But I've Sure Woke Up With A Few "

What's Happening Muskegon!

Happenings on the Muskegon Coast

Find the lowest gas prices!

http://autos.msn.com/everyday/gasstations.aspx?zip=&src=Netx

Jimmah?

Statesboro Herald: "Requiring voters to show a free photo identification is just one of several changes the U.S. electoral system needs to catch up with most of the rest of the world, former President Carter said Wednesday."
Without question, his best idea. Will the rest of the obstructionist Democrats follow?

On the news tonight?

ABC News: Iraq Archive Document Describes Bin Laden Meeting: "(Editor's Note: This document is handwritten and has no official seal. Although contacts between bin Laden and the Iraqis have been reported in the 9/11 Commission report and elsewhere, (e.g. the 9/11 report states 'Bin Ladn himself met with a senior Iraqi intelligence officer in Khartoum in late 1994 or early 1995) this document indicates the contacts were approved personally by Saddam Hussein. "

About time!

Michigan Senate votes to take away powers of elections board:
LANSING, Mich. Republicans in the Michigan Senate have approved legislation stripping powers from the state elections board.
The move is a backlash against Democratic board members who've been criticized for the way they handled an anti-affirmative action ballot measure."
Last year, the Democratic board members initially refused to comply with a court order to place a constitutional amendment banning some affirmative action programs on this November's ballot.
The Democrats were breaking the law! Where's the outrage? Yeah, right....

Have a laugh!

http://www.videosift.com/index.php?search=stop+motion%2C+art+of+motion&tag=true
click it

She accepted?

The Borowitz Report .com: "CHENEY INVITES HELEN THOMAS ON HUNTING TRIP "

If so, why are conservatives happier?

How to spot a baby conservative: "Remember the whiny, insecure kid in nursery school, the one who always thought everyone was out to get him, and was always running to the teacher with complaints? Chances are he grew up to be a conservative.
At least, he did if he was one of 95 kids from the Berkeley area that social scientists have been tracking for the last 20 years. The confident, resilient, self-reliant kids mostly grew up to be liberals."
But they said we conservatives were happier!
http://muskegonpundit.blogspot.com/2006/02/pew-research-center-are-we-happy-yet.html

Top MBA Schools UM/Michigan State University (Broad)

WSJ.com - Michigan State University (Broad): "Michigan State jumped six spots to No. 2 in the latest Wall Street Journal/Harris Interactive Regional ranking. Recruiters gave the school its top scores for students' fit with the corporate culture, their teamwork skills, and success with past hires"

THE WINNERS:
National picks:1. Dartmouth (Tuck)2. University of Michigan (Ross)3. Carnegie Mellon (Tepper)4. Northwestern University (Kellogg)5. Yale University

Regional picks:1. Purdue University (Krannert)2. Michigan State University (Broad)3. Ohio State University (Fisher)4. Thunderbird (Garvin)5. IPADE

Brilliant analysis

SOXBLOG: "WE KNOW WHY THE LEFT wants to call what's going on in Iraq a civil war. The impulse to call it a civil war comes from the same place the that the need to trumpet every car bomb that exploded in Iraq came from. The people calling it a civil war do so for the same reason that they rallied around an overtly anti-Semitic lunatic like Cindy Sheehan.
The left wants to embarrass the Bush administration"
read the whole thing

Be forewarned Chronicle!

TCS Daily - Newspapers in Trouble?: "It was just a year ago that I predicted -- to considerable consternation and censure from the press -- that most major newspapers would be dead or dying by the end of this decade. Apparently, I was being conservative"

Imagine....

Council criticized for new contract lacking King holiday: "Norton Shores City Council members got more flak Tuesday for failing to establish Martin Luther King Jr. Day as a holiday when they approved a five-year contract with department of public works employees.
Members of Muskegon Community Solidarity who attended the council's meeting continued their pressure on the council to recognize the national holiday celebrated around the assassinated civil rights leader's birthday, which was Jan. 15. Solidarity wants employees to be given the day off -- a change city staff said would cost $29,000 annually unless traded for another employee holiday."
Imagine if Solidarity cared as much for educating the kids in Muskegon Heights as they care for an extra day off for NS workers. Imagine......

MSU Spartans Hockey Sat 25th

Spartantailgate.com - MSU Spartans & Michigan State Fan Site: "Spartantailgate.com - All the Latest Michigan State Spartans Sports News Hockey team to face New Hampshire in first round

M-ISTA?

WSJ.com - Microsoft Delays Windows Vista Debut Again: "Microsoft Corp. said it is delaying its long-awaited Windows Vista operating system, a decision that could cause headaches throughout the $200 billion personal-computer industry.
The Redmond, Wash., software giant, which had been expected to begin selling Vista in October, said it will begin offering a version of the product for businesses in November. A consumer version will become broadly available in January, said James Allchin, co-president of Microsoft's platforms and services division."
This is BIG!

Good bye!

DRUDGE REPORT FLASH 2006: "The GALLUP polling company has dropped CNN as its outlet for electronic distribution.

GALLUP, CNN and USA TODAY have been polling partners since 1992.

'CNN has far fewer viewers than it did in the past, and we feel that our brand was getting lost and diluted,' GALLUP claimed in an internal memo, obtained by the DRUDGE REPORT. "
So long Larry King....

Monster fish

World-record bass pulled from Lake Dixon: "The bass weighed 25 pounds, 1 ounce on a hand-held scale, which if approved would shatter the world record, the 22-pound, 4-ounce bass caught by George W. Perry at Montgomery Lake in Georgia in 1932. "

Not Tiger's but pretty cool.

Maui Vacation Palace: "This extraordinary beachfront estate, on a 1/4 mile white sand beach, is a rare masterpiece in architecture and interior design and includes every luxury imaginable. Sleeps 12. 6 impeccable bedrooms, 5 marble baths, and 2 half baths. The sumptuous decor inside the forty-foot high interior has been customized with the finest art treasures from throughout the world, creating a true beachfront palace. "

Homer nods...

Heights paper's attacks draw outrage: "Muskegon Heights Councilwoman Bonnie McGlothin said Monday she plans to sue a Muskegon Heights newspaper over a political cartoon that depicted her wearing a collar and a leash. "
Um, Bonnie. No one reads the Muskegon Tribune. No one saw your cartoon. Now you are famous....doh!

Not true?

Urban Legends Reference Pages: Photo Gallery (Tiger Woods' House): "Photographs show the beachfront home of golfer Tiger Woods. "