.jpg)
- Discuss current events in front of your six-year-old. Bring up abortion, riots, and the war in Ukraine. Climate change in particular is apt to scare the pants off little Johnny and leave him in a state of terror. Knowing that the planet is going to implode because he’s been born will likely induce guilt for the remainder of his days—though that attitude may cost you grandchildren someday.
- Complain constantly about the high price of gas, groceries, and housing. These days, inflation is eating up our dollars like the Cookie Monster gobbling his favorite treats. Gripe about costs, and you’ll raise children who believe they are living in dire poverty. One healthy side effect of this delusion is that they may learn to pinch pennies early on and decide to make billionaires their heroes rather than actors or sports figures.
- Pay more attention to your cell phone than to the kids. This not-so-subtle act brings home the message that texting a friend or scrolling through social media is more important than tending to a scrapped knee or a missed homework assignment.
- Even better, give them access to electronic devices. Use your phone as a babysitter for hours every day. Allow them to play games on a screen rather than in the backyard, thus avoiding the dangers of mosquitoes, dirt, and falls.
- Best of all, allow them to take those screens to their rooms at bedtime. Here they can engage in snarky comments on social media, read about humankind going down the tubes, and stay awake into the wee hours of the morning. This fatigue alone will keep them down in the dumps during the daylight hours.
- Never give them chores. Don’t ask them to help with such tasks as laundry or meal preparations, either. This way, when they shamble out into the real world, they can suffer the trauma derived from the realization that no one is going to wait on them hand-and-foot.
- Ignore what they are learning in school. The fourth-grader exposed to critical race theory or gender identity in his classes will not only grow up depressed by society’s “injustices,” but will live in a constant state of rage as well. And he’ll have lots of company: a circle of whining friends.
- Expose them to today’s movie offerings. Almost every one of them is loaded with a cargo of drinking, profanity, violence, and sex. These tools steal childhood innocence, that ineffable barrier which often stands between hope and despair.
- Keep them away from fairy tales. Teach your children early that there are no knights on white horses or princesses wearing tiaras. These antiquated stories simply raise false expectations and guarantee future disappointment. Instead, bring them up to be liberated from illusion and dependent on no one except the government. Make the point that in the real world fairy tales are found only in books and that magic doesn’t exist..."
