Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?--Fans of Best of the Web Today

Fans of Best of the Web Today--Joe Northcott

Fun for Kultura Friday.

• Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

JOE BIDEN: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost the chicken cross the road? And why art the chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain the road is crossed in the sight of any predator.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

What it's REALLY about!

Authoritarianism On The Rise In America In The Age Of Coronavirus | The Daily Caller

Authoritarianism On The Rise In America In The Age Of Coronavirus | The Daily Caller:

To battle the coronavirus pandemic, states and cities across the U.S. have embraced authoritarian measures, but are they going too far?
Some public officials, like Democratic Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer, have gone so far as to ban people from visiting friends and family unless they are doing so to perform medical assistance. Some cities have implemented mass surveillance programs, widely considered to be illegal. Police in 22 different cities have begun using DJI drones to enforce coronavirus restrictions, despite a ban on these drones by the Department of Justice.

Study: Historic Drop in U.S. Reading, Math Scores Since Common Core

Study: Historic Drop in U.S. Reading, Math Scores Since Common Core
A study released Monday by the Boston-based Pioneer Institute reveals a historic drop in national reading and math scores among U.S. students since the adoption of the Common Core Curriculum Standards a decade ago.

“The proponents of this expensive, legally questionable policy initiative have much to answer for.”

...“The lowest performing students – those readers who struggle the most – have made no progress in reading from the first NAEP administration almost 30 years ago,” she added:

NAEP@NAEP_NCES

Dr. Peggy Carr, Associate Commissioner, notes that the lowest performing students--those readers who struggle the most--have made no progress in reading since the first assessment almost 30 years ago. Learn more: https://www.nationsreportcard.gov/highlights/reading/2019/?anchor=percentiles-section …#NAEPDay

AM Fruitcake

History for April 28

History for April 28 - On-This-Day.com
James Monroe 1758 - 5th U.S. President, nickname: The Last Cocked Hat, (Nelle) Harper Lee 1926 - Author ("To Kill A Mockingbird"), Saddam Hussein 1937 - Iraqi leader


Ann-Margret (Olsson) 1941 - Singer, actress ("Viva Las Vegas", "Grumpy Old Men"), Jay Leno 1950 - Comedian, television talk show host ("The Tonight Show"), Mary McDonnell 1953 - Actress


1789 - A mutiny on the British ship Bounty took place when a rebel crew took the ship and set sail to Pitcairn Island. The mutineers left Captain W. Bligh and 18 sailors adrift.


1945 - Benito Mussolini and his mistress Clara Petacci were executed by Italian partisans as they attempted to flee the country.

Senate Democrats Refuse To Acknowledge Sexual Assault Accusations Against Joe Biden | The Daily Caller

Senate Democrats Refuse To Acknowledge Sexual Assault Accusations Against Joe Biden | The Daily Caller:

Every Democrat in the Senate has refused to acknowledge the sexual assault allegations against 2020 presidential candidate Joe Biden that were brought forward by a former staffer, even after new evidence lends credibility to the alleged assault.
The Daily Caller contacted every Democrat in the Senate, asking them if they would even consider the allegations by Biden’s accuser, Tara Reade, who has accused the then-senator of kissing her, touching her and penetrating her with his fingers without her consent in 1993. Each Senate office was given 24 hours to respond but not one did.

The way we were-----Boeing 707 Barrel Roll - Pilot Tex Johnston Performs Roll In Dash-80 Pro...

Boob-tube-----Who were the "FUN GIRLS" from THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW? The Real Daphne an...

Global Food Supply Chains Beginning to Erode, Crisis Looms? - Gold Telegraph

Global Food Supply Chains Beginning to Erode, Crisis Looms? - Gold Telegraph:
"As the coronavirus continues to infect more and more people, food supply chains have started to become more strained in recent days. 
It was announced yesterday; the world’s biggest pork producer is closing a primary U.S plant indefinitely after a coronavirus outbreak amongst employees...

Jennifer Zeng 曾錚@jenniferatntd

 · Apr 1, 2020

People rushing to buy rice and cooking oil in #Chongqing, #China on Mar 31. Worry about food shortage has been spreading for a while. There has also been leaked internal official notice suggesting people store food supply of at least 3-6 months.#CCPVirus #COVID2019

Jennifer Zeng 曾錚@jenniferatntd

Leaked #CCP official notification from Linxia Prefecture in #Guansu Province in #China issued on Mar 28. Main points: Enhance awareness of the urgency and crisis state of food shortage. Guide and motivate the mass to ensure each family maintains food storage for 3-6 months.

...We anticipated this, as we reported on April 1 that food supply chains were in the early stages of being strained. 
Many countries were preparing many weeks ago by cutting back on exports to begin stockpiling. 
...One would begin to believe history might not be repeating itself, but it is undoubtedly starting to rhyme. 
During the great depression of the 1930s, the hardest-hit industry was farming. 
Farm incomes dropped by nearly two-thirds at the beginning of the 1930s. 
Dairy farmers dumped countless gallons of milk into the street instead of accepting a penny a quart.
...One thing is clear, there certainly are supply chain disruptions going on within the food industry globally, the question is, how bad will it get?"
Read all.

Nolte: Biden ‘Expert’ Ezekiel Emanuel Over-Estimated Coronavirus Cases by 99 Million

Nolte: Biden ‘Expert’ Ezekiel Emanuel Over-Estimated Coronavirus Cases by 99 Million

• Nolte: Joe Biden ‘Expert’ Ezekiel Emanuel Over-Estimated Coronavirus Cases by Whopping 99 Million

"Top Joe Biden medical expert Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel predicted America would hit a whopping 100 million coronavirus cases by this coming Monday.

He was only off by 99 million.
During a March 27 appearance on MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Emanuel, a member of Biden’s Public Health Advisory Committee — a committee to help the former vice president and credibly-accused sexual assaulter form policies to fight the pandemic — predicted that within four weeks some 100 million Americans would be infected with the China virus.

On what is advertised as a news show, and without any evidence or even a request for evidence from the boobs who co-host Morning Joe, Emanuel spewed the following without so much as a Where did you get that number from, I mean other than your ass..?

“Primarily in New York, but it’s not going to be exclusively New York. This is not a virus that is just going to stay confined to New York,” he said. “Right now, if you look at the numbers, we probably have a million COVID-19 cases in the country. And if this is doubling every three to four days, that means that we’ll have 100 million people who have COVID-19 in about four weeks, and that’s a frightening thought.”

The truth is that according to the Centers for Disease Control, there are fewer than even one million reported cases in the U.S..."

Read all.

EXCLUSIVE: Source Says FBI Director Christopher Wray Pushed To Withhold Exculpatory Evidence In Mike Flynn Case | The Daily Caller

EXCLUSIVE: Source Says FBI Director Christopher Wray Pushed To Withhold Exculpatory Evidence In Mike Flynn Case | The Daily Caller:

Federal Bureau of Investigations Director Christopher Wray fought to prevent exculpatory evidence from surfacing in the case of President Donald Trump’s former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, a source with direct knowledge of the situation tells Daily Caller.
New court documents were filed in Flynn’s case Friday containing the aforementioned exculpatory evidence, commonly referred to as Brady Material. Flynn’s attorney, Sidney Powell, announced the new filing on Twitter. She has repeatedly accused the FBI and Justice Department of hiding evidence in the case.

Watch it and send to all you know!-----Environmentalism Looks in the Mirror | The Pipeline

Environmentalism Looks in the Mirror | The Pipeline
"For Earth Day this year, Michael Moore gave environmentalists a very special present. 
It’s a greenish movie version of Oscar Wilde’s novel, The Picture of Dorian Gray, in which a young environmentalist sells his soul to the devil in order to stay pure but becomes rich by getting capitalism to fund the replacement of fossil fuel energy with carbon-free renewables. 
He thinks he has tricked the devil. 
But when he sees his photograph on the brochure of the new Green Energy Mega-Corporation as its CEO, he is horrified to find that instead of the shining youthful purity of his original countenance, it depicts the corrupt features of a greedy, grasping old titan, deep in sin.
...Now, that’s my summary of Planet of the Humans. 
On another page Tom Finnerty has a more thorough and thoughtful account of its plot and message. 
So you probably think you don’t really need to see the movie. 
But Tom and I would advise you to do so all the same.

Read all AND watch the video!!

Will political decisions kill the golden goose?-----The Simon Abundance Index 2020 | Cato @ Liberty

The Simon Abundance Index 2020 | Cato @ Liberty
"The Simon Project is happy to announce the release of The Simon Abundance Index 2020. This year’s Index covers the period between 1980 and 2019.

The main findings of the report are as follows:

Between 1980 and 2019, the average time price of 50 basic commodities fell by 74.2 percent. 
That means that for the same length of time that a person needed to work to earn enough money to buy one unit in our basket of 50 commodities in 1980, he or she could buy 3.87 units in 2019....Read all!

Lunch video-----In the Dark on Renewables: Rebutting Deloitte Insights and Climate Reality

Noon-toon