Bloomberg Refused Second Slice of Pizza at Local Restaurant - The Daily Currant
"I'm sorry sir.
We're serious," Benito insisted.
"We've decided that eating more than one piece isn't healthy for you, and so we're forbidding you from doing it."
"Look jackass," Bloomberg retorted, his anger boiling,
"I fucking skipped breakfast this morning just so I could eat four slices of your pizza.
Don't be a schmuck, just get back to the kitchen and bring out some fucking pizza, okay."
"I'm sorry sir, there's nothing I can do," the owner repeated.
"Maybe you could go to several restaurants and get one slice at each.
At least that way you're walking.
You know, burning calories."
(Yes, it's a spoof)
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