A Criminal’s Unfortunate Mistake
Portland, Oregon – A 40 year-old man, or former man, named Joseph Johnson accidentally shot off his own testicles while he was fleeing the scene of the a crime. The culprit was committing a shooting in downtown Portland, and as he hastily fled the scene he holstered the gun in his pants, inadvertently firing the gun resulting in self-castration. This was not before he gave his victim, 32 year-old Jordan Merrell, a leg-wound. Of course we heavily sympathize with the victim, but compared to castration by gun a leg-wound sounds like a little slice of Heaven.
According to local police and eyewitness testimonies, the gunman and the victim knew each other very well and lived in the same apartment building. The conflict took place in a parking lot behind the building, which is where the gunman allegedly confronted the victim, demanded he hand over his property, and shot him in the leg. Police spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson is on record as saying that “the suspect’s wound is consistent with somebody putting a gun in his pants.”
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